Monday, September 05, 2005

.in the past.

it's amazing how life can play a trick on us. it bonds people together. it can also drift people apart. it can make you feel at the top of the world and dash all your hopes and bring back your fear at the next instant. i was looking through my past personal diaries and i realised how amazing life can be.

people alway say live a life without regrets. well, i want to have a life like that as well. at least, i would have made my life worthwhile by completing everything to my very best. however, that's the ideal case and usually, ideal cases are unrealistic and impractical. i do have regrets but there is nothing i can do now. i cannot turn back the clock and have a second go. PGA is the highest achievement a guide can obtain. i would be a step closer in obtaining it if i decided to go for the orientating test before the deadline and not take the tests together with the whole of sec4s guides after the deadline. my teacher informed me of her sudden decision a few days before my exams. how was i supposed to answer her? studies or personal achievement or teamwork? thinking back, i will very much want to earn that award. was i being too emotional by not taking the test before the deadline?

i cannot understand how relationships are forged among people. some have left me out of their worlds while some welcome me as a friend. =) there are different degree of relationships as well. for instance, i have a few best best best best friends from secondary and primary school. although we do not meet up with each other very often, there are endless topics for us to talk about when we meet. there will not be a sense of awkwardness when we see each other. instead, i will feel excited about the gathering the day before. sometimes, we do not have to spell it out, we are able to know what each of us are thinking. what brings people together? is it the common dreams, common passion, or common behaviour? i dont know. it is a mystery, isnt it?

mugging starts all over again tomorrow. i need to constantly change my mugging venues so that i will not get sick of it. rmb, find a purpose in whatever you are doing.

"life is a mystery"

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